The year has turned over when I forgot to look and I find myself welcoming the flip side with utter amazement. The kindness of 2013 is apparent on day one as I sense an ending, Julian Barnes style and look at shadows anew. I spent the last few moments of 2012 being tough on myself as I give up a rather than give in. There are quiet moments as I stand by myself, prosecco in hand and wonder at how far from myself I have come. Yet each time I try and step aside the world conspires and works in mysterious ways to bring me face to face with my agony and ecstasy. I watch the white foam roll around for the nth time, completely at ease with its mundane existence as it stands testimony to emotions that sometimes cloud it's heady judgement. There's a melancholic sweetness to the silence that defines the start of the year. The day is spent in abandonment and I wonder if anything will change at all in the days to come; after all it is just a new number in my daily lexicon. I drink in the goodness of Thalassa and stick to being the sushi slut I am in the last hours of day one. Just another day in paradise before the cold swallows me whole and I fumble again. It should be a beginning but I still sense an ending that is much needed before I embrace the year and break free.
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